An Appreciation by Neil Fulwood
How to describe Alfred Brendel? As a pianist, obviously – one of the greatest concert pianists who ever lived. A musician of immense talent and versatility.
But also: a poet, essayist, cartoonist; a lover of art; a man who identified completely with the Dadaist movement.
But also: a scholar, a teacher, a mentor; an inspiration to so many, musicians and non-musicians alike.
Not forgetting: an eccentric in the best sense of the word; a wit; an elegant presence. Pretty much the very definition of a complete original.
The world was a better place with Alfred Brendel in it. With his passing, it feels like a light has been extinguished; like an era is drawing to a close.
He wouldn’t want such mawkishness, though. He’d want us to remember him with a smile and a glint in the eye.
This is my favourite of his poems. It always makes me laugh. Even today.
The Coughers of Cologne
have joined forces with Cologne Clappers
and established the Cough and Clap Society
a non-profit-making organization
whose aim it is
to guarantee each concertgoer’s right
to cough and applaud
Attempts by unfeeling artists and impresarios
to question such privileges
have led to a Coughers and Clappers initiative
Members are required to applaud
immediately after sublime codas
and cough distinctly
during expressive silences
Distinct coughing is of paramount importance
to stifle or muffle it
forbidden on pain of expulsion
Coughers of outstanding tenacity
are awarded the Coughing Rhinemaiden
a handsome if slightly baroque appendage
to be worn around the neck
The C & C’s recent merger
with the New York Sneezers
and the London Whistlers
raises high hopes
for Cologne’s musical future.
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